Pessimism is One Big Headache

In the last few months I have come to understand that I suffer from Chronic Tension Headaches, and that I probably have been dealing with this for up to ten years. After doing some research online about this problem, I came across this statement:

"One study indicated that patients with tension headaches tend to perceive everyday events as more stressful than those without headaches."

As tempted as I was to glide by this sentence, dismissing it as not applicable to my situation, I have long wondered if what I'd written in my personality as optimism is actually an elaborate disguise for a heavy and burdensome pessimism.

The sentence, and the Holy Spirit, have now put it on my heart that I, though wanting so acutely to be bubbly and positive, am actually a closet pessimist. (I haven't asked my loved ones yet, so I am unsure of the accuracy of the "closet" part of that statement.) Either way, it is a revelation to me, a sad and hurtful revelation.

I now believe that at the root of most of my problems, from my chronic pain to the broken relationships in my life, from my bad eating habits to my lack of follow-through, is my underlying, deep, overwhelming, and defining negativity.

But in perhaps an uncharacteristic move, considering my above appraisal, I am going to change. In a country where a half-black man can be overwhelmingly elected as President, in a world where people care, in a universe created by a loving Master, there IS room for change.

My first steps in the next few days is to pick up some relaxation techniques, meditate, read the Scriptures, keep the TV off, organize my house, purge my life of negative influences, work out, eat well, neti pot it up, enjoy reading, try to stay present in each moment, and begin to write down each day what I am thankful for.

I'll let you know how it goes.