Underlining.

In high school and during my years as an English Literature major I learned a lot about underlining while you read. As most serious (a.k.a. snobbish) English majors know, underlining and margin-jotting is necessary, whereas highlighting is seen as a childish attempt at critical reading. And through my many years of critical reading, my underlining took on the habit of focusing on major points, sentences or words that might support my line of thought or thesis, or things I thought were funny.

This worked well enough in college. I could easily skim the words I had emphasized with a blue line beneath them and within an hour develop a five-page average essay out of them.

Unfortunately and ironically, I think it has dwarfed my ability to think critically about a text put in front of me. Instead of thinking, I judge. I box ideas into what I can see, my big picture... and in doing so, ignore, minimalize, and reject other parts of the text. I mourn the learning I missed in college in my effort to get the assignment done on time.

What's worse, I now believe I've missed most of the beauty of Scripture. I now believe my picture of my God is skewed and muted in contrast to the great big amazing that He is. I've found that I tend to shy away from passages that don't fit into my vision of God. In that act I think I've shied away from my duty as a minister of reconciliation, I've misunderstood Scripture, I've felt confused about who I worship, and have stunted my own growth. Recently as I've begun to really dig into Scripture, focusing more on the parts I don't like, the parts that don't make sense to me... He has rewarded me with new revelations that are exciting and melt my heart.

And now I find myself underlining that which does not support my theories, that which seems minor and unimportant, and still the things I think are funny...with great joy.